The power of acceptance

Acceptance… is not accepting what happens without an active response, merely shrugging one’s shoulders and declining to engage. Rather, it is looking clearly and calmly at a situation, seeing it for what it is and working with it as it is.

Sometimes, when the pressures of work pile up, I think about monks.

In his book, Buddha: A Very Short Introduction, anthropology professor Michael Carrithers from the University of Durham in England recounts his experiences of doing fieldwork with forest monks in Sri Lanka.

He recalls that some of the monks poured enormous amounts of time and energy into long-term projects, such as founding forest hermitages, and were very successful in these endeavours.

Yet they remained relaxed about their work and even “relatively indifferent to the results of their efforts”.

I often think about those monks. Their attitude is one to which I aspire.

They were committed to their work. Wholeheartedly so. But they understood that even their best efforts may not guarantee success. And so, whether things went well or badly, they remained calm and untroubled.

Acceptance, in the Buddhist sense of the word, is not passivity. It is not accepting what happens without an active response, merely shrugging one’s shoulders and declining to engage.

Rather, it is looking clearly and calmly at a situation, seeing it for what it is and working with it as it is.

The Buddhist writer and teacher Jack Kornfield, in Bringing Home The Dharma, Awakening Right Where You Are, puts it nicely.

He says: “Acceptance allows us to relax and open up to the facts before us. It does not mean that we cannot work to improve things. But just now, this is what is so.”

This non-passive acceptance of tough circumstances is not an easy trait to acquire.

It is far easier, when things go wrong, to allow oneself to become frustrated and discouraged than it is to remain focused and engaged.

I know this from experience.

Like many people, I take my work seriously. Whatever I do, whether it is teaching English, working on a new book or writing this column, I try to do it well.

But, of course, I do not always succeed as well as I would wish. And so I live with a nagging sense of anxiety; a mild but constant fear of failure.

I used to think that these negative emotions were necessary, that I needed them in order to stay motivated.

But I no longer think that way.

Now, when I look inside myself, I see that if the anxiety were to disappear, the motivation would remain. I would still regard my work as worthwhile and would still try to do it well.

In fact, I now view those negative emotions as counterproductive. Because, at the very times when I most need focus, energy and enthusiasm - for example, when a lesson is not going well or a piece of writing refuses to come together - they distract, de-energise and deflate me.

There is more power in focused acceptance than there is in panic.

One of my favourite ancient philosophers, Epictetus, preached the virtues of acceptance.

He says: “Some things are in our control and others not.”

The trick to life, he says, is to focus our energies on the things we can control and accept patiently the things we cannot.

Despite our best efforts, things can and sometimes will go wrong. We need to accept that, and press on calmly and cheerfully anyway.

•Gary Hayden is a philosophy and science writer.
Source: The power of acceptance

He says: “Acceptance allows us to relax and open up to the facts before us. It does not mean that we cannot work to improve things. But just now, this is what is so.”

Am I right to comprehend this as part of the practice to Great Capacity? By accepting the outcomes and happenings, it also requires much effort to accept the sentient beings who contribute collectively to an outcome.

Kindly help to add on to my limited understanding ^^

Part of the practice to Great Capacity focus very much on the intent and motivation of the act, rather than the outcome of it.

Most of us are conditioned to expect and outcome especially when more effort is put in. If we can shift the emphasis into the cause, and understand that the outcome is due to a collective karma (rather than just your own effort), we can accept things easier.

Most of us does not see the power of acceptance because we have been educated since young to look at results, thus we are not able to accept sudden changes to a situation because we are expecting a result that we want, so this in turn actually giving us stress and no fun in this world. If we can educate ourselves to focus on our commitment to the process rather than on the results, the whole situation would present itself in a totally different meaning. We should learn from the monks.

i believe that accepting is knowing that by doing the right action, planting the right seed, will have the right fruit, 善因感乐果. Instead of focusing and worrying on the current situation, by putting in effort to do the right thing, the result will be good.

Actually after learning Lamrim, then I learnt about the power of acceptance.

Especially the part where we learnt the Characteristics of Karma, which states: "If an action is not performed, its results will not be met” ~ “业未造,不会遇”…

This helps me alot to accept things which do not go my way or unpleasant things that happened to me!
Last time, I may complaint, lament, lay blame on others, retaliate or have negative thoughts whenever things go wrong.
Now I will accept whatever it is and tell myself, “it must be my past negative actions, that’s why now it has manifested into this negative result which I have to go through”.
Also, I will remind myself, “Everything happens for a REASON & the reason is here to serve me”.

In this way, I can maintain a positive mindset amidst a negative situation.

Still in process of learning this… But i must say, understanding the teachings of the buddha really help alot in moulding me into a better & happier person!

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