How do you stop yourself from thinking of and liking someone when you clearly know that there is no future?

Think of the person as that pair of shoes that you always see at the shopfront window whenever you walked past. It’s totally your style and it’s what you have always wanted. However, you would have to burn a hole in your bank account to have it so it’s impossible. But you can’t stop thinking about it every time you walk past it. So here are some ways that you can start to stop yourself from obsessing over that pair of shoes (or that person).

#1 – Don’t walk past the shopfront anymore.
Avoid any chances of meeting that person so that you lessen the chances of seeing the person and think of that person again.

#2 – If you have to walk past the shopfront, look straight ahead as you walk past. Do not give in!
If you happen to see the person, don’t even sneak a look!

#3 – If you couldn’t resist and took a peep, quickly look for its imperfections. Ah! The toes are too pointed! It’s going to give you blisters!
Like everything in this world, we like something because we its good qualities caught our eyes and we failed to see its less pretty sides. Even if you are together with the person, the novelty will wear off soon when you realise up close that the person is just another human being (just a normal pair of shoes that burnt your bank account) or when that person causes you grief (think blisters). Nothing is perfect nor lasts forever.

#4 - If you really keep thinking of that pair of shoes but you really can’t afford to have that hole in your bank account, go shopping at somewhere else instead.
It’s clearly a waste of your time to keep thinking of that person, since nothing is going to come out of it. Life is too short to waste on something that has no future, while you have your own future out there waiting for you.

#5 – If you really must have a pair of shoes…… did you look at the other pair at the other shopfront just next door?
If you focus on just that one person, you will be missing out on other people in your life who could be the one that brings you happiness instead. So why not open your eyes and look further?

Regardless of whether it’s a pair of shoes, a new car or a person, whatever it is, it’s not the one that is causing us unhappiness, it’s ourselves that gives ourselves grief. It’s when we see something that we like, we want it because we think that we will be happy once we possess it, but because we cannot have it, thus we think we are unhappy. And if this unhappiness increases, we become hostile, or in this case, you can’t stop thinking of that person. So why would you want to waste your time and life away like that?

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If you have the awareness that there is no future in the relationship, you have probably come to term with those reasons logically.

Perhaps you could write those reasons down, and contemplate it further, or stick it on your mirror such that when your thoughts are wandering off, you can be reminded of the WHY you made the choice.

Good luck!

Find something else to focus on, like engage in a new hobby or find volunteering work to do. By looking for something else that is more meaningful to spend our time, it will be much easier to move on.

Why waste your time over a tree when there are so many trees in the forest out there? Like Wilson said, focus on something else, and move on, who knows who else might come your way? If you don’t move, the trees in the forest are not going to come to you.