As a Buddhist, how come I find myself getting more impatient and angry easily during day to day life?

Venerable Ru Ju shares his experience on how practitioners in Buddhism can find themselves getting more impatient (or even more prone to getting angry) during day to day life.

I find myself in this situation too. And I found it frustrating because I knew the pitfall of getting angry and yet, there I was, unable to control myself. I blamed it on myself not getting the benefit of my studies.

After listening to Venerable’s discourse, I found relief that this phenomenon can be quite expected. It is also part of our practice to address it and overcome it eventually.

In this Lamrim Discussion, Master Ri-Chang and Master Zhen-Ru brings up a fault that I readily admit I have. The habit of using what I have learnt to judge other people rather than using it for self-reflection and countering my afflictions.


Listen to more of Master Zhen-Ru’s discussion here:

Master Zhen Ru gives more advice on how to turn the 照妖鏡 on ourselves without getting discouraged when we see our faults.
In fact, we should be happy to see our faults as it means that we are seeing opportunities to change and improve.

For your listening pleasure (in Chinese):

I want to take to heart this passage from Master Zhen Ru’s latest discourse:


A reminder that if we continue to use this 照妖鏡 mirror for judging everyone else but ourselves, the consequences are dreadful. We will be angry and filled with negative emotions. We will be prideful and conceited in the belief that we have have attained some enlightenment.

What should we do then to get rid of this habit of using this mirror to judge others?
Master Zhen Ru advises:


Listen to the full text here:

Venerable Ru De answers a question:

After a couple learns Buddhism, it is easy to pick each other’s faults? How to get along better?

I pick up pointers like:

  • understand the purpose of why one is learning Buddhism & Dharma
  • use Dharma to self reflect rather than as benchmark for criticising others
  • make clear the distinction between the Dharma and the behaviour of a person speaking the Dharma. They are two different matters.
  • follow Buddha’s example in obtaining Dharma to make progress in one’s practice


Venerable Ru De has an interesting (and entertaining) dialogue on how to handle anger using multiple contemplation approaches:

I picked up a few points:

  • we can reject the “present” of anger that someone gives to us
  • mindfulness of death can let us see that the anger is trivial in comparison
  • the benefits of not getting angry (and accepting the suffering, 忍辱度). In this manner, the other party that I am getting angry at is giving me a chance to practise.
  • the other party that is angering me is not in control also; thus there is no reason to get angry
  • we should target the affliction of anger rather than getting angry at any person. The affliction is the real cause so we should target it.

I appreciate Venerable’s humor while providing his discourse. I am always looking forward to his next session :slight_smile: